Grace

Some days, the best thing you can give yourself is a little grace. If I truly grasp the grace that Christ has given to me, wouldn’t one think I should extend it to myself as well? Who am I to decide if I receive grace or not? Maybe part of being Christ-like is accepting the grace He so generously gave me and owning it. Sometimes, I am just much too hard on myself.

Today, it is ok that I haven’t unpacked our bag from our weekend away quite yet. It was better that I invest in a friendship.

It is ok that my apartment isn’t as complete as I had hoped it would be by this time. My home is a happy home whether or not there is a rug on the floor or curtains around the windows.

It is ok that my quiet time doesn’t look the same every day. He is not looking for a check mark off my to-do list, but a submission of my will and heart to His love, and a desire to know Him deeper.

It is ok if every once in a while I walk out of the house looking like a hot mess. I have a Father in heaven and a husband on earth who love me regardless.

It is ok that we are not homeowners, that we do not have children yet, that we don’t even really know what’s for dinner tonight. We aren’t competing with anyone.

It is ok that I can run 20 miles a week on limited calories and still find a way to gain a few pounds. Thank you, Lord for muscular legs, a healthy body and mindset, and strength to do it all.

It is ok that most days my dog is my best friend. God is slowly growing us in community and has a plan in mind for my future, but for now he has me at home, just me and my Zooey girl and my computer.

It is ok that I can’t remember if the dishes in the dishwasher are clean or dirty. All of the time away from the apartment has been spent in memories made with my family and friends.

It is ok that I do not have it all figured out at age 23. I am 23. There is grace in that.

It is ok if I do not know what it is I truly want to pursue in career quite yet. What matters is that I do have a job, I give it my all, and I learn patience in the process. I learn that patience is passion tamed.

There is grace enough for my hopes. There is grace enough for my fears. There is grace enough for my inadequacies and shortcomings and rough spots. There is grace enough for my discontentment at times, my perfectionism, for the brutal expectations I place on myself. There is grace enough.

He is full of grace. He is enough. He is bigger than the pressure I put on myself to live outside of His grace.