Raegan- Post May 15th, 2010

What are you doing with your life?

That is a good question. One that I get, at the very least, 3 times a week. Probably because I am living in College Station and not going to school. Wait….you can do that? I know. College Station, Texas, despite popular belief, is actually a functioning, normal town with real people in it and real jobs, and not even just professors and those that work at Texas A&M. Crazy, I didn’t believe it either. Let me tell you how I ended up here, or rather stayed here, especially for those sweet friends still attending school that I run into and are afraid to ask if I thought I was going to graduate and didn’t or wonder if I’m still bumming around.

It’s a neat story, actually, one that has God’s hand of blessing all over it, and I want to show you not just where I am, but where I am in His story.

I graduated on May 15^th, 2010, from Texas A&M University with a bachelor of arts in communication. One of the cooler days of my life, for sure. In the first three years leading up to my graduation, the most popular question was definitely, “So what do you want to do after you graduate?” Simple, harmless question, one that every college student gets the pleasure of responding to. In fact, what college student doesn’t like answering that question? You get to talk about your dreams and your expectations in life and all about the brand new business you’re going to start the second after you walk across that stage. Dreams are big in this time, as they should be, and I get so excited when I see friends achieve those dreams due to persistence and discipline. But for the majority of us out there, that question becomes so much more difficult to answer in that last year, and especially when it changes ever so slightly to, “What are you going to do after you graduate?” That simple word change changes everything, and the pressure is on in that moment. In the months and weeks leading up to May 15^th, that question seemed to be more of a dagger to my soul than an innocent question of intrigue, simply because I couldn’t answer it. I had so many transient hopes and dreams of what I wanted to do with my life that slowly got sifted through the sands of reality as each semester passed. I’m sure anyone who knows me well could easily rattle off 6-8 different career paths I was on at some point in college, ranging from journalist to wedding planner to teacher to hair dresser. But once it came down to actual graduation time, I was just as clueless as most of my fellow classmates sitting in the liberal arts ceremony, maybe in part due to the economy and the nation’s total lack of need for us right-brained folks.

This is the point of the story in which God, in His omniscience and great love for me, really began to show me a little about myself and a lot about Him.

God knows that I like order and plans and neatness. They are attributes of Him displayed in me as I am made in His image. However, there is sin in me and not in Him, and so even the gifts and qualities He made me with can be corrupted, usually by selfishness and a constant need for control. God knew that if I made plans and they all pulled through exactly as I dreamed that I would not be any better, and He so wants me to grow. He knew that I would depend on myself and not on Him, and it would be a false sense of independence because even when we think we are doing something on our own strength, we’d be humbled to know we couldn’t take our next breath without Him. He knew that my plans aren’t nearly as big or cool as His are, and He knows I can do so much more for Him in His plans. He knew my heart better than I knew it, and He gave me my heart’s desires without me even knowing it by drawing my heart closer to His and giving me more of His heart. So what did He do? Well, He messed my plans up a little bit.

Not that I had big plans, no. More like He messed up my plans to have plans, which if you have that kind of “planner brain” like me, that sentence just made perfect sense. Instead, He left me plan-less and just kept whispering softly in my ear, “Wait on me. Depend on me. TRUST me.” So I did…until May 16^th. Then I freaked out. Where was I going to live? What was I going to do? Should I go back to school? Should I go back home? Should I accept the first job that comes my way?

I said yes to that last question, and it really got me nowhere quickly. I learned a few life-lessons along the way, namely, “Don’t accept the first job that comes your way.” Basically, a month  or two in, I quit my first real job because, one, they wanted me to basically live in Laredo for half the year, and two, because it had no semblance of God’s plan for me on it, and I felt it in my soul.

I quit that job just a few days before leaving for Impact as a prayer teamer. I had so many mixed feelings heading out there, so much joy to be with my brothers and sisters in Christ in the ministry that God had laid on my heart over the past two years, and also so much doubt (from that crazy Satan character) about my purpose in being there. As I sat in that prayer room for the first night, ready to stand vigil with my fellow prayer team girls, feeling “armed for spiritual warfare”, Satan decided to  aim for the jugular. He cut straight to the heart with accusations and lies, tormenting my heart with questions I wasn’t required to answer. I had known beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had me on prayer team for a reason before I even knew what that reason was. (Sometimes God gives you that total sense of peace when you take something on, and prayer team was definitely one of those.) Just when I thought I’d succumb to self-pity and doubt, the Holy Spirit went to battle for me, and as I wept over the pages of Truth, He promised me that I was in HIS hands, that Satan has no hold over me, and that I was free to enjoy His goodness and the moment He placed me in. Right then and there, He released me from the fear of not being successful, the fear of taking a step out of His plans for me, the strain of trying to live in perfection, the fear of uncertainty, and most importantly, my own control. These are all things He released me from when He hung on the cross; rather, He reminded me that I’m free, showed me the silliness of standing in a prison cell when the gate is wide open.

The next day was just a cool day. Let me preface this by saying that I know that when you pray for direction and guidance, you don’t always receive an immediate answer. The Lord always provides what we need, but not always on the timeframe we think He should work in. But this was one of those times when God saw it fit to blow my mind with His goodness and faithfulness and really show me that I can’t do anything apart from Him. After an afternoon with my camp, meeting freshmen and truly ministering with a free heart, I came back to my room to find 7 voicemails on my phone. Never in my life have I ever received seven voicemails in one day, much less all from potential employers/friends of potential employers. I took a step outside to listen to them before my next prayer session; I was curious! I literally sang of His goodness as I walked back in that room with such a portrait of His provision, knowing that when I got off that bus that Thursday, I had two interviews lined up for Friday.

Flash forward to today. I’ve been working for C.C. Creations for about two months now, and if you’re not from College Station, let me tell you what it is. C.C. Creations is a large screen printing and embroidery company that also specializes in signs and banners, trophies and awards, and promotional products- basically if you can put your name on something, we can do it. I had the privilege of working with this company on the other side of the desk for the past year as VP of Sigma Phi Lambda, ordering t-shirts, fleeces, sunglasses, shorts (plus 20+ other random items to outfit all 250 girls from head to toe in our letters). While we had our ups and downs on some orders (we suffered a few misprints here and there), I was so impressed by the professionalism of the business, and also their sincere desire to see that I was a satisfied customer. I liked that about them. I was in the office at least on a weekly basis, and I got to know several of the employees, and over time, we all began to joke that I was in the office so often that I might as well get paid for it. Finally taking them seriously one day, I offered the manager my resume. She was courteous, and informed me that she would definitely keep me in mind when they would be needing new sales reps come December. Thinking in my head that I have my life under control and there would be no way I could wait until December to have a job, I smiled politely and told her to give me a call when that became available and we’d see where life had taken me.

Well, I obviously took that first job in June and didn’t really think about C.C. Creations anymore. Until that whole episode I just explained. And low and behold, C.C. Creations just happened to be one of those voicemails left on my phone. I interviewed a few days later, and here’s the really neat part. The position I was interviewing for was not the position I thought I was interviewing for. I thought it was a local sales rep position, but it turns out they needed a Programs Sales rep sooner as their current employee would be leaving the company in a couple of months to be a full time mom. (Program Sales= working with camps and non-profits nation-wide). They picked my resume out for two reasons- 1) because I was a communication major and RPTS (recreation, parks and tourism sciences, or better known as rest and play til seminary) and for maybe the only time in my life that combination was exactly what they wanted, and 2) because I had some connections to this lady who would be leaving- she was a former officer in Phi Lamb at A&M! So after a long talk about all the other crazy connections, cool stories of how I had come to know this company, etc., I had this crazy perfect peace feeling about the job, knowing that whether I got it or not, the Lord had led me there to show me His goodness, to confirm His plan for me in College Station (that was a big one I doubted constantly- what was I staying here for, and why?) and when you are faithful in small things, He sees it.

So if you’re still reading, you must love me. I love you, too. That’s where I am. I’m making t-shirts, loving life, and understanding my workplace as my mission field. Totally cool. I’ll tell you more of the cool things about my job later because there are so many Jesus-stories packed into how I got here and how perfect this place is for me. Never did I think that making t-shirts could be part of where God wanted me right now, because I don’t think I understood completely that He doesn’t operate on our timetable, and careers, finance, education- it’s all part of this life that doesn’t translate in heaven. However, He has a HUGE interest in my heart, in my ministry, and in my complete and total dependence on Him and He wants me to see those earthly things as tools for what He wants me to do in His kingdom. Once I started understanding how to pray about the “why” instead of the “what” and the “where”, I started relinquishing my dreams and taking on His bigger ones. I don’t have it all figured out, obviously, I’m 21 years old. I’m not feigning any real wisdom here. I’m just taking the next step of obedience and trying to continue to be faithful in the small things, like first jobs and student loans.

Week 11 Lovin'

I tried really hard to think of something else to write about this weekend. I really did. But when you get to see your man finally receive his Aggie ring on Friday, take a road trip to Baylor for the weekend to watch your Fightin’ Texas Aggies take down the Bears, and return on Sunday to a #19 ranking, I mean, what else is there to talk about?

I’m proud of my Ags, I really am. They’ve restored heart and hope to Aggieland these past four weeks, and regardless of what happens in the post-season, I have to say, this is as excited I’ve seen College Station since I’ve been here. Instead of telling you about my weekend, I’ll let these pictures do the talking!

FRIDAY

Clayton got his Aggie Ring! WHOOP!

Now we match- Aggie love <3

For all of you non-Ags, it's kind of a big deal. Over 90% of the student body gets their ring, a tradition that dates back to 1889.

SATURDAY

Got to spend a wonderful Saturday night with this crew of Baylor Beauties.

This was Cyrus Gray. All. Game. Long.

These are incredible pictures from the game---take a look!

Doug Klembara's Awesome Pictures

This is stud, Ryan Tannehill.



Unfortunately, we still don't control our own destiny at this point.

No thanks to Texas this weekend.....fail.

This is Baylor pre-game. All smiles and bear claws.

They are good at that bear claw. Got it down pat. Also, their "kill" cheer, which scarily resembles something I've seen in WWII documentaries, makes me wonder if we're the cult....



I know this was last week, but still...Wreck-ing- Crew. Makin a comeback.



What Floyd Casey looks like when it's not serving as Kyle Field North.



Ok, ok, enough harrassing Baylor with images.

Here's what ESPN had to say...

• Best game: Texas A&M 42, Baylor 30. The Aggies rebounded from a terrible start that featured Robert Griffin III's longest run of the season, a 71-yard touchdown to earn a dramatic win in the Battle of the Brazos and set up a huge game against Nebraska in College Station on Saturday.
• Most heartbreaking play: Terrance Frederick, Texas A&M. Frederick returned a blocked field goal 71 yards at the end of the first half, but went out of bounds at the 1-yard line after time expired, meaning his play was all for naught.
• Best team performance: Texas A&M. The Aggies pitched a second-half shutout against a big-time Baylor offense and earned a 42-30 comeback victory on the road against the Bears to keep their slim South hopes alive. Honorable mention: Oklahoma.

Oh, and some super intelligent comments from the discussion section on ESPN that Clayton and I love to read for entertainment on lazy Sunday afternoons....

"Uh, why don't you read my posts a little more carefully there, you un-smart guy. Scroll down and read instead of just thinking you're so smart, un-smart guy. If you read down a little farther, and read my, uh, let's see, maybe 4 or 5 posts on this subject, you will see that I wasn't talking about Baylor there, un-smart guy."

SUNDAY

Ah, early, early Sunday morning, we drove back to sweet College Station. So good to see dear friends- thanks so much for letting me stay, Hope! I SO enjoyed it!



Oh yeah, and there was this bright spot in my day. Thanks for fighting, Cowboys, as a dear fan, I am very thankful



Oh yeah, and then we got this good news! No. 19 in BCS-Woohoo!

 

No. 19 Aggies just keep fighting

Great football weekend. I know, maybe not for everybody. Aggies from Dallas tended to like it.

And I do promise a much more girl-friendly post next time. I do like a lot of girly things, I'm very girly. But I also love football. Remember?


Other things I did this weekend:


Colossians Bible Study with my wonderful Coach Group!


Sunday afternoon coffee with Clayton.



Kelli Fyke's 21st Birthday!



Fun weekend, good football, great people. I love weekends, such a great time to unwind and relax. Looking forward to what this week holds!

Hope you are all having a very blessed Monday :)

RB

The Most Important Thing You Will Ever Read

What I believe, based on the inerrant, infallible Word of God (2 Tim 3:16-17):

In the beginning, the triune God (2 Cor. 13:14) created the world (Gen 1:1). He then created man perfect in His own image. (Gen 1:27)

Because He so loved His creation and desired a relationship with the man and woman He created, He gave man and woman free will to choose to love, obey Him, and live in harmony with Him. But because they had this free will, they could also choose to disobey Him. And they did. (Gen. 3:6)

Sin ultimately separated Adam and Eve (and thus, all of creation) from God, and the consequence of sin was death. (Rom. 6:23) We all fall short of the glory of God, and it is impossible to come to Him; He had to come to us (John 6:44)

To atone for their sins, God’s people (the Israelites) of the Old Testament had to make sacrifices to God, a “scapegoat” to carry their sins. (Lev. 9:7)

Ultimately, God knew that He must send His perfect son, Jesus, to be the ultimate sacrifice for our sins. (Heb. 10:10)

God performed a miracle and sent His Son, Jesus, to be born of a virgin (Matt. 1:18-25), fully God and fully man (Heb. 2:17), so that He would come and live a sinless life, and through His death, burial, and resurrection, He would be the ultimate sacrifice for the sins of all who believe in His name (Rom. 5, 2 Cor. 5:21)

Anyone who believes on the name of the Lord will be saved (Rom. 10:9), and will live eternally with Him in heaven (John 3:16).

If we believe, repent, and are saved by the blood of Christ, God looks on us and sees us as holy, blameless, and pure because we have been covered by Christ- redeemed (1 Peter 1:18-19)

Christ left with us the Holy Spirit to be our intercessor with God, so that we are able to know, discern and test what God’s will is. Through the Holy Spirit, we have a relationship with God (Rom. 12:2)

It is not by works that we reach heaven (Eph. 2:8-9). Our works are fruits of the Spirit within us (Gal. 5:22-25).

There is SO much more to the freedom-filled life in Christ (Gal. 5:1), but there is nothing more to the message of salvation. Christ came once for all, offered us eternal life, and freed us from the bondage of our sins. In return, He asks us for our life. If we put to death our sin with Christ on the cross, we are raised again with Him as a new creation (John 3:3).

That is absolute truth, and it is the most incredible thing I know. I will never tell you again anything more worthwhile.

The Transitive Property works with Jesus, but not Big 12 football

So, after bull-dozing you with my love and affection for my dear girlfriends, I decided to take a little time off and enjoy my weekend a bit! And enjoy it I did- what a sweet weekend filled with great friends, quality down time, new adventures and a Fightin’ Texas Aggie win! One of the better weekends I’ve had this fall for certain. I truly hope you enjoyed reading about my friends as much as I enjoyed writing about them. It made me miss each one of them individually, and I’m more than ready to see them over Thanksgiving!

(old school, right there)

So as I thought on what to share out of the constantly- revolving wheel of thoughts in my head, my initial impulse was to ruminate on all things Aggie- a collection of sentimental memoirs from my time in Aggieland. However, I realize I’m much too under-the-influence of the “Aggie Kool-Aid” at the moment after an awe-inspiring scene at Kyle Field on Saturday, so I’ll wait to see how the rest of this season pans out before I have to eat my words. Not that I would spring to any rash conclusions, but my little Aggie heart might just beat too proudly for some of my Big 12 friends. I can’t help it- there’s just something special here- more on that come December J

I hope to use my deep understanding of mathematics (ha) to use logic in explaining some biblical concepts today, but unfortunately, the transitive property doesn’t always apply to football. Ex. If A=B, and B=C, then A=C works in my dumbed-down lesson on Jesus, but not in the Big 12. One would think (and if an Aggie, hope) that:

If Texas A&M beats Texas Tech, and Texas Tech beats Baylor, then Texas A&M will beat Baylor.

However, this same logic didn’t work out so well for us in this instance:

If Texas A&M beats Texas Tech, and Texas Tech beats Missouri, then Texas A&M will beat Missouri.

Yeah, not so much. That’s what’s so great about college football…anything can happen! I love it!

On that note, I wanted to go a little deeper and share something that has been on my heart these past few weeks. I’m leading a study on the book of Colossians with some college girls from my church, Grace Bible, on Wednesday nights, and I’ll admit, I’ve read ahead a little. There’s a certain idea that I have been grappling with this semester that Paul addresses in Colossians- being able to give an answer. Take a look at Colossians 4:5-6:

“Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Early on in the semester, we talked out what that idea meant, specifically when it comes to sharing the gospel. There are so many different takes and methods on how we ought to go about evangelizing. Truly, I do love to discuss with others how to go about reaching the world for Christ, and I’m inspired and encouraged by friends of mine who are radical in their approach. However, I could talk about evangelizing with all my Christian friends every day and never get a single person any closer to the kingdom of heaven. So I had to start examining my own heart and life to figure out how to apply this verse. It seems so simple; we just make it so complicated.

I realized this when a friend encouraged me to have completely memorized the message of the gospel. My initial thought was, “well, of course I know the gospel, I’ve been taught this since before I could even speak!” But what she meant was more of what I consider knowing “how to answer everyone.” People have questions beyond Jesus’ death and resurrection- rarely will you find anyone who takes the elementary version of Easter at face value, and if they don’t have questions, are you really giving them the message of salvation? It’s the most confrontational, counter-cultural, radical, dumbfounding message they will ever receive; everything about it goes against our own sinful, human ideas of justice. When you show them grace, when you introduce them to Jesus, they’re going to have to deal with it, reckon with it, and truly search their soul. It’s confrontational and intolerant, but it’s also the best news they will ever hear. How do you present that?

Starting this new job and taking a step out of the college scene (don’t worry, I still have one foot firmly in) has opened my eyes to a sea of opportunity before me- my mission field. I know for certain that God has me here at this place and time for a divine reason. I don’t know how long he’ll have me here as I continue to surrender my will to His daily, so this verse strikes me when it speaks of opportunity. I’m not guaranteed many, if any, so the hastiness behind the verbiage is compelling. I’m called to “make the most” out of these situations while being “full of grace”- that idea is so counterintuitive to the thought process of many modern-day “televangelists” or street-corner “prophets.” They display boldness without love- a message that a hurting world feels burned by, their hearts becoming more calloused with each Christ-void word. It also runs in contrast to the cushy-version of evangelizing- the relationship-centered approach, which so many lukewarm Christians lean too heavily on as their excuse for not proclaiming the Word- too heavy on the grace without enough truth, so once the relationship gets any depth to it, they are either overcome with a fear of hurting the relationship, or they have already misrepresented Christ and doubt that they would be taken seriously.

(not a good way to share the gospel)

Christ gives us the example (as always).

 He spoke truth IN love, mercy WITH justice. And of course, He did it perfectly because He was talking about Himself. He IS love, mercy, and justice. He is full of grace because He is full of Himself. He was able to give an answer because he WAS the answer.  And this is where I had my “EUREKA” moment a few days ago- it’s so obvious, and I knew it all along, but it was one of those times that the truth hit me anew, square in the face.

How do I act wise? By seeking wisdom; Christ is all wisdom; therefore, if I seek Christ, I seek wisdom.

How do I show grace? By seeking grace; Christ is full of grace; therefore, if I seek Christ, I seek grace.

How do I give an answer? By seeking the answer; Christ is the answer; therefore, if I seek Christ, I seek the answer.

How do I show love? By seeking love; Christ is love; therefore, if I seek Christ, I seek love.

I was never good at math, and I thank God I wasn’t. I wouldn’t be dating Clayton today if I had been, because his unrivaled patience with me as my math tutor from ages 13-19 brought us together. But I do get the concept of if A=B and B=C, then A=C. Because Christ is all, and in all (Col. 3:11), this idea works for quite a few things.

You don’t have to be into apologetics to apply this verse; I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not an avid student of it. There are some basics though, that as a Christian, you are required to know. Know the gospel. Know it backwards and forwards. Like I challenged my Bible study girls, write it out using your own words and your own set of Scriptures so that you can give an answer on a whim. Know it like you know your favorite song, be able to whip it out at a moment’s notice. And then share it. Don’t keep the most incredible gift you’ve ever been given to yourself. Sharing denotes a taking part in together- as members of one body, we get to share in the everlasting covenant our Father made with us, why would you not want others to share in this amazing grace?

I’m like most of you. As I write this, I look at my life and I say, “ok, why am I not doing that?” I’m not ashamed of the gospel, but I often fear man instead of God. That’s an idol. I know I’m forgiven, but I worry that my sinful self will get in the way of my presentation. That’s an idol.

I’ve been given an opportunity here in College Station to radically reach my world for Christ. I’ve been praying big prayers in faith, and God is faithful to answer. The question is, am I ready to give an answer? In my next post, I want to give you one.

RB

"She's Her Own Woman"

-by Brad Paisley, in case you didn't know :)

Sixth Character: Caitlin Holland

Caitlin may prove to be my most challenging character yet. It’s so hard to wrap Caitlin up in a nutshell, maybe because she is the nutshell (that was not meant to be an insult in any way, shape, or form- allow me to continue). Caitlin’s personality is kind of a smorgasbord of traits that really could encompass the whole of our sweet little circle. She’s quirky and sweet, artsy and down to earth, inventive and levelheaded. She’s creative and imaginative like Jen, classy and relational like Hope, full of grace and love like Emily, spunky and spontaneous like Haley, and satirical and reliable like Melanie. She really ties the neat little bow on the randomly compiled present of our friendship. Caitlin has defined friendship for me from day one; she is no different 11 years later. Our friendship goes back the furthest for me, and the road we’ve travelled together has been blessed with every bump and curve its taken. I truly can’t wait for you to meet my last, but certainly by no means least, best friend.

How I met Caitlin: Coming out of homeschooling for the first time as a fifth grader, my heart raced with so many emotions on that first day. I had no idea what to expect; surely I’d make friends, school couldn’t be all that hard, but how to crack into the tight-knit bond of all the students who transferred together from Covenant Christian to begin this new school was a whole other animal I didn’t see coming. Caitlin was on the fringe like me, just looking to survive in those early days. Surprisingly, she had just moved relatively recently from Minnesota and had been a home-schooler herself, and my nervous beating heart couldn’t have been calmed in a better way. She was half my size (more on my gigantism in my early years in a post coming soon), but she fit me just right. She was my only instant friend- I’m tearing up just a little as I think of our innocent bond in those first years.

My first memory of Caitlin: When I think of that fifth grade year, all that floods my memories are sounds of girlish giggles and silly games. I think we laughed more in those first few years than I have in the entirety of my life! We were inseparable. Whether we were reading aloud to each other medieval literature and gawking at each other’s speaking blunders or showing early signs of our literature-minded futures through stories we’d write together just for fun, laughs were never in short supply. I think our awesome factor hit its peak in junior high band- Caitlin the clarinet player, and I on the French horn. Oh, we were awful, but that made the experience all the better. We’d practice in our rooms together and legitimately drive anyone within a five mile radius insane. After practice, a quick round of the Barbie game would ensue, naturally altered by our own brand of fun and own set of rules. I have so many sweet, precious memories from my first true friend at Faith that I wish I could share every one- just know she means the world to me for being my rock from the beginning.

Highlights of our Glory Years: Caitlin and I were so blessed to be surrounded by every single girl I’ve acquainted you with, and our “glory years” can only be summed up by the consummating joy of daily friendship together. When I think of high school, I just remember Caitlin being there for all of it. Our hearts have always beat in rhythm, even if they beat to the sound of different drummers. I just remember sleepovers and laughter, growing pains into adolescence and into maturity, mums and garters, jamming to music entirely too loud while driving around aimlessly for hours, unabashedly embarrassing one another in public, awkward dates and fleeting crushes…I just remember life with this girl. Our friendship wasn’t built on emotion or feelings of the moment; as with all best friends, we had our ups and downs, but never once did I question if she was the “forever and always” kind of best friend.

Who she was then: I’ve told you so much about our friendship, now let me tell you about this rock star. Caitlin came into her own in high school; gone were the awkward-length denim shorts and Keds, and in walked current and modern Caitlin. It happened overnight, really. I was totally (and still am) left in the dust. It seemed that once the band instruments were returned to their rightful place, (anywhere out of our hands) the woman Caitlin emerged. I specifically remember people taking fashion cues from her outfits, as I’m positive they still do. She had a way of being edgy without leaving the boundaries- she pushed forward at the same pace as fashion, an early adopter, if you will. She could pull off vintage mod cloth on Monday, then channel a punk-rock diva on Tuesday, and any day of the week she could find at Forever 21 what you could never find if you looked for hours; her eye for fashion and her ear for music made Caitlin special, unique, and enviable. She had such a way with people, and often had to carry more than her fair share of burdens. She was like a magnet to the lonely and emotionally needy, and she cared for them as if they were her own sisters. She was the best listener around, and I feel as though people were constantly vying for the title of her best friend. She took it all so gracefully, making everyone feel like a million bucks and imparting the conventional wisdom of a very mature woman in her own Caitlin wrapping paper.

Who she is now: While Caitlin may or may not fully realize it, her power is in her words and her warmth. She effectuates change through her loyal friendship and the undivided attention she gives to lost and hurting souls. I’ve seen Caitlin walk through college with more courage and patience than most would be willing to endure. Starting her freshman year at Baylor, she returned home after her first year to make one thing for certain- that she was in the place that God desired for her to be. Leaving like that takes a lot of bravery, and Caitlin did it with passion. She served her family while she lived under their roof for another year, and when she was confident in the Lord’s calling on her life, she returned to Baylor a new, radically changed and buoyant woman. She’s studying communication at Baylor and her heart is to be in the will of God. She taught me how to pray that and expect that in my life, just as she’s taught countless others the power of the Holy Spirit and the way to find true peace and joy in life.

Who would play Caitlin if my made-up book hit the big screens: I’m going to be way off on this one. All I’m getting is Alexis Bledel, for her funky fashion and depicted intelligence. She also held the Sisterhood girls together, so I’m going to say it fits.

Caitlin and I have probably taken the most similar life paths into college and beyond. Not that we are by any means the same person, but our eventual hopes and dreams always seem to be on the same playing field. She’s found her niche at Baylor, but she’s not by any means defined by it. She’s incredibly witty- I don’t think I mentioned that- and she’s by far the funniest girl I know. She inherited so many of her qualities from her father, including her spiritual discernment, her clever sense of humor, her spirit for the unconventional, and her way with words. My personal opinion is that she should totally start her own blog. On second thought, maybe not, because she would probably show me up :) Caitlin, I miss you, and I truly pray often that life leads us back to the same city one day. You’re just too good of a friend.

Pictures of Caitlin










You are too beautiful, Caitlin Ruth

RB

The Princess Bride

Fifth Character: Melanie Cox Davis

The first thing you’ll notice about Mel Bell is her name- yes, she is our first friend that gets to fill in the “Maiden Name” portion of any paperwork. I’ll admit, seeing Davis by her name still freaks me out a little bit, and when she pops up on my newsfeed, I still have to do a double-take every now and then. She’ll be married a year in December, but it still seems like yesterday that she quietly came onto the scene at Faith and into our lives. It was Melanie that introduced us all to the wonders (?) of Taylor Swift before anyone was “thinking Tim Mcgraw,” her sweet spirit that always brought us down to earth, and her incredibly delicate palate that changed our lunch plans on a regular basis. She’s one of those people that downplays their own abilities to the point that you could miss the “yesterday I wrote a computer program” in the midst of the “I chipped my new manicure on the keyboard.” She is understatedly brilliant.

How I met Melanie: I don’t really remember. She seemed to just materialize into the fabric of our lives so effortlessly that I don’t recall a beginning in detail. She came to Faith in her freshman year, but she wasn’t the type to storm onto the scene, making waves and pushing buttons. Her quiet assuredness kind of made you wonder if she had been there from the beginning and you had just missed her somehow. But she didn’t have to try to be someone she wasn’t to make friends- she was easy to be friends with, and thus her presence in our little circle increased over time as we got to see the real Melanie, with all her curios facets.
My first memory of Melanie: If you can’t remember a beginning, “firsts” seem to escape the memory. In the beginning, Mel was kind of a floater; she didn’t need any one person or one group’s approval. She had dear friends outside of school, and I think that contributed to her less aggressive approach to friend-making at Faith. Which totally worked in her favor- I can’t think of a single person in the world who disliked her, but then again, how could you dislike her? I do remember her funny little quips to herself in class; she was always muttering something under her breath, usually sarcastic, that she didn’t intend for anyone to hear. I, however, sarcastic fool that I am, found her hilarious, and when we both joined the yearbook staff in our sophomore year, I got to see the full range of Melanie’s many moods. Oh, how she could bring even the most frazzled staff to belly-aching laughs with her high pitched squeals and candid retorts when Photoshop just wouldn’t crop or the text could not be watered down!

Highlights of our Glory Years: The great majority of our laughs stemmed from our yearbook days- Mel, you were quite the comic relief! Once she had you lulled into thinking she was harmless and innocent, she would unleash wrath on you in one violent, terrible eruption of emotion. And then you still laughed, somehow! She would always voice out loud (or at least subtly jibe) the things that you were only thinking. Her plethora of agitations and pet peeves led to the infamous Grievance List, a chronicle of all nuisances that plagued the yearbook staff. “Grievance” became a token word in class whenever someone would toe the line of idiocracy- whether they misused the word “literally”, used too many abbrevs, or couldn’t master the delicate differences of to, two, and too, Mel was the first to jump to the scene of the crime and throw out a “grievance” warning.

Who she was then: Melanie could best be described as our dose of sanity; she could always bring us back to reality when our emotions got the best of us. Whenever it was share-all time, she was usually the first to think and the last to speak, which generally meant she could say something a little more even-tempered than the rest of us. Sure, she had her spaz outs (who didn’t?) but the way she kept her distance from high school drama undeniably kept her head on straight. She always seemed to have a boyfriend (she may hate me for saying that), but what I really mean to get at is that she has always been relationship-driven. Not just with the opposite sex, but with people. It was no surprise to me that she was the first to say, “I do.” She was just so easy to get along with, so relatable. Her easy-going temperament made it easy to ask her to accompany you to the bathroom or help you on your homework, and we all know just how valuable those are in high school.
Who she is now: It’s so hard to pin down who she is now because marriage has a way of changing your life forever, and since I don’t yet know what that kind of change brings about, I can’t pretend I know her daily joys and trials. I do know the Melanie that I get to see on holidays is still full of life, but she also seems to be full of a little more wisdom as well. She still knows what to say when you’re hurting, still laughs just as hard at your stories (even if she doesn’t know the people you’re talking about). She’s absolutely brilliant; I truly can’t put into words what she does because, well, I just don’t understand it. She has an inexplicable talent with computers and has landed all kinds of jobs that are generally reserved for computer brainiacs and techies. I can just imagine the looks she must have received when she walked into businesses as their computer consultant- sweet little blonde Mel, they must have thought it was a joke! It makes me think of a movie when I picture the scene (or a great excerpt in my book??) She's living the dream right now, married, living in her posh Dallas apartment, working and finishing up her degree...but she's earned this new phase in life, her patience and hard work truly paying off.

Who would play her if my made-up book hit the big screens: I think someone quirky and sweet like Reece Witherspoon. Yes, that’s perfect.
Sometimes, when I just need to blow off some steam or vent some frustrations, I wish Mel was there to feel every anxious feeling with me, toss some humor at it, and help me casually move on from it in the way that only she can. I bet living with her would be so fun- she always pulls out the unexpected, shocks you with her witticisms and random talents, and just knows how to be a good girlfriend (I’m jealous, Grant, you found such a keeper!). On a more serious note, I think Mel could handle married life at an earlier age simply because she was ready; she’s wise beyond her years, her maturity level is much higher than the average 21-year-old, and her trust in the Lord is something I admire. She’s always had such a strong commitment to the body of believers the Lord has given her through her church home, and she invests in people, no matter who they are. I hope to take some lessons from you one day, Mel!
Pictures of Melanie










You are beautiful, Mel Bell!

RB

The Ginger Prom Queen

Fourth Character: Haley Diorio

She’s everyone’s favorite Ginger. She has a personality the size of Texas, which means she’s kind of a big deal in little Norman, OK, with her dear Sooners. When you first meet Haley, you instantly want to be her friend- she has that factor about her. I don’t know if it’s her super-Southern accent or her quick-witted sarcasm that first grabs you, but you can’t leave her presence without thinking, “That girl just sounds like a good time.” She’s that girl you call at 3 in the morning whether your heart is broken or you just heard the funniest thing ever and you have to share it with someone- she’s that girl that will listen no matter what. She’s the one you call when spontaneity strikes and you need a partner in crime, yet she’s also the one you call to go on a long walk to share a heart-to-heart. She’s just a really fun, caring friend with a big heart, sweet little red-headed freckles…and a smokin’ bod that makes you feel like a second class citizen around anyone of the male species. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Haley Diorio.

How I met Haley: Haley and I didn’t meet until our junior year of high school, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at our friends. She came to Faith in 2005 from a local public school, and it was truly as if she was the missing piece in our lives. We met in an SAT-prep class at school. I saw her across the room, a sweet little redhead all alone in this strange private school atmosphere where she must have inevitably felt like a fish out of water. I had the strange feeling that I knew her somehow, so I went over and introduced myself. Turns out we were past basketball opponents, bitter rivals in the Grapevine Rec League- 10 and under division. Ok, maybe it wasn’t that intense, but who could forget Haley’s memorable goldie-locks and mad skill? It was instant friendship nonetheless. She was at my birthday party a week later, stealing the show.

My first memory of Haley: Well, meeting Haley in that prep class was my first memory. Let me just reminisce further on that blissful morn and embarrass her for a quick second. Haley opened up quickly with me (we just had that BFF chemistry right from the start) and she let me in on a little developing crush she had on one of the junior class twins. Well, as much as I’m sure she wanted my approval and ever-listening ear, my heart became very conflicted. Another very good friend had a history with this twin! How could this be? What would I ever do? How on earth, in a class of 54, could two people like the SAME person? Shocking, I know. That’s just another little taste of Faith for you. There’s just more drama because there’s less people, and even less boys, and even less football players. It’s bound to get ugly. Luckily, I never had to be in the middle of it, and it died out, as did most of our high school flames. But what would my high school reminiscence be without a little boy gossip? Thanks for being my guinea pig, Hales.

Highlights of our Glory Years: Without a doubt, Haley and I experienced our greatest high school moments together on that concrete oval out back. Haley was my track running buddy, and our best-friendship truly blossomed and grew out of pain and torture. I feel as though I could write a whole post on those track season days; they really are such fond memories. The best, though, was when Haley and I got to run together on the 4X200 relay team. Handing the baton off to her was like perfect chemistry, we might as well have been moving the baton from one of our own hands to another, it was just so natural! We laughed until we cried and cried until we laughed on multiple occasions. Doing life together and with our ragamuffin crew of teammates was like having a second, big family in the spring. So many great memories on and off the track resulted from countless hours spent together. Through victory and defeat, grueling practices and shin splints, 6 hour bus rides and 12 hour meets, our bond grew stronger- how could it not have? We left our hearts on that track every week, and when you get the rare opportunity to participate in something like that with your best friend, you hold on to those memories tightly.

Who she was then: Haley may have come into “the bubble” later, but that didn’t stop everyone from wanting to be her friend. Luckily, we got her- and I couldn’t be more thankful. She brought spunk and energy to our little group of friends, specifically for me- she was my one friend that participated in my passions with me through athletics. While Haley was a speed demon on the track, she may have been an even greater pitcher. While I didn’t personally get to experience her glory days on the mound with her, I loved to watch her play- she loved softball (and she had to be the prettiest, cutest little softball player you’ve ever seen!). You could find her most days of her senior year either sneaking off for a donut run with her friends (oh, the days when we didn’t have to think about what that was doing to our bodies!) or out on the practice field. And because all of my girls were absolute rock stars, Haley was no exception- meet my prom queen friend. I told you everyone instantly loved her!

Who she is now: Haley’s always been her own woman, and she certainly still marches to the beat of her own drum up in Oklahoma. Having rocked her way through her undergrad and first year of nursing school, Haley is currently finishing up her last year, and knowing her, she’s undoubtedly at the top of her class. No fecal matter or projectile vomiting will keep her from her dreams (which says so much, because she used to be terrified of both). When she sets her mind to something, you best not get in her way- she will accomplish it. She’s a fiercely independent woman, yet she still holds her girlish heart wide open. I love the way she balances that. She’s honest, forthright, and unashamed of who she is- she’s proud of her accomplishments, yet comfortable in admitting where she falls short. Those lacking that confidence may find her beauty and success intimidating- I find her to be a stunningly gorgeous, hard-working, absolutely hilarious young woman who’s definitely going places in life.

Who would play her if my made-up book hit the big screens: Let’s be real- beautiful red-heads aren’t exactly a dime a dozen, which is what makes finding one so intriguing. Putting Lindsay Lohan’s appalling behavior aside, she used to be a pretty redhead. I’d say Haley would fall somewhere in the vast abyss between Lindsay and Debra Messing.

I have truly savored the sweet summertime with Haley these past few years, whether we were working at the Roadhouse, laying out by the pool, or hitting the gym together. I’m going to certainly miss that time as we enter adulthood, but I have no doubt that our sweet friendship will endure. Haley’s a faithful friend, and it doesn’t matter how long we go without talking because I know we can always pick up right where we left off. I don’t know what the future holds for Miss Hales as she’s quite the adventurer and risk-taker. As long as she continues to be the faithful friend and lover of people that she is and remain rooted in the Truth, she’ll find favor wherever she goes. She has such perseverance, and I have no doubt in her. In the meantime, I can’t seem to find a friend like Haley, and I just get jealous of those that get the real thing in OK! I’ll certainly savor the fleeting moments we’ll get as life moves on, knowing that I have a true friend in Haley.

Pictures of Haley











Miss you!

RB

Tiny Dancer

Third Character: Emily Dixon

I can’t wait for you to meet Emily. One, because once I describe her, you’re going to start to get a good idea of just how diverse and intricate each one of my friends are, especially as you compare these first three characters. Two, because Emily is one of those super special people that God gifts with one of his special gifts- not that all of His gifts aren’t special, but He just gave Emily one that he uses sparingly. That special gift is the gift of dance, ballet specifically. Emily is our little ballerina friend. Yes, we all had dancer friends in high school, but my ballerina friend was better than yours, she didn’t even have to go to college, she just went straight to professional ballerina world, she’s that good. She could dance circles around your ballerina friends. OK, I’m a proud friend, I’m sure your friend was good too- but mine is brilliant and beautiful as well. Let me just tell you about her…

How I met Emily: Emily was actually in my fifth grade class with Mrs. Mason. I thought Emily was the bee’s knees. Seriously, I met her on the first day and instantly wanted to be her friend. She may not have known before how cool I thought she was, but let’s be real- she had perfect, no-bump pony-tails (and she only had to use, like, two clips), she had gel pens in every color of the rainbow, and she fit in everywhere- she could ball it up on the court, dance around in tutus, and everybody wanted to be her friend. I was no exception.

My first memory of Emily: It really is just more a collection of memories. Two stand out. Because gel pens really stole the show in fifth grade, Mrs. Mason took notice, and to hopefully minimize the obsessive usage, she hand-sewed us all gel pen holders that attached to the back of our chairs. (Thinking back to that, she was really kind!) I didn’t have as many gel pens as everyone else. Emily was nice- she gave me some of hers. My favorite seating arrangement was the time I got to sit by Emily. The other memory involved a certain club entitled the BFF’s. (Clever, I know). It was very exclusive (only four members) and I knew I didn’t have a shot. Well, Emily did, naturally, and I was just proud to be her friend. This exclusive club afforded her great privileges, including skipping around the playground arm-in-arm with her BFF clubbers. Knock-offs attempted their coolness to no avail.

Highlights of our Glory Years:  All of my high school girls led very different lives; we all had different interests and schedules. But Emily’s was definitely the most different, as she had to spend a lot of time (more so in the latter years of high school) doing different ballerina-type events. How she maintained a better GPA than the rest of us (oh, did I mention she was also the Salutatorian?) and achieve elite ballerina status, I’ll never know. God graced her with greater patience, endurance and discipline than the rest of us. But those times when the weekends were ours and we all got time together were the best. Emily was my sideline buddy, she almost never missed a game and she didn’t become a cheerleader like the rest. Other weekends, we got the privilege of watching Emmy light up the stage in whatever role she was placed in- usually we would see Nutcracker performances. She always blew my mind- that was my friend up there, contorting her body in ways I could never even dream of attempting!

Who she was then: I think you’re getting a good idea- she was a ballerina. She was probably the only student at Faith that maintained what could be considered a full-time job while being a top-notch student. She was a student council member and a teacher’s favorite. She was ultra-polite and possessed the same kind of grace off the stage as she did on stage. You could probably find her during the school day next to Jenilee on her mac, but Em was doing next week’s homework, not because she was a nerd and liked school, but because she was disciplined and knew her schedule. She may have confused the rest of the mostly incompetent teenagers around her, but she was driven and strived for her dreams and knew the costs that came with it. She loved her friends dearly; she was always full of encouragement, and she truly had a compassionate heart. She’s still one of the best listeners I’ve ever known, she puts others above herself, and she spent her time in school with her friends genuinely interested in their day-to-day activities, pouring scripture over our lives at any given opportunity.

Who she is now: I don’t know all the fancy talk for what she does; I try so hard to understand when she explains to me her ballet life, and I do take in a few things, but ballet world also has its own language (I mean, really it kind of does, since it’s French). Here’s what I do know: Emily is now in her fourth year of professional ballerina-ship. She dances for the Sarasota Ballet in Florida, and while I haven’t gotten the chance to see any of her performances as a profesh, I’m sure she is stunning as ever. Emily has such a unique take on her gift- she completely submits it to the Lord, and it is her own personal, unique, intimate form of worship, yet we get to witness it. She knows deep in her heart that the Lord created her for beauty- and that’s simply enough. I know I catch a glimpse of the Lord’s character when I see her dance, especially in her humility (I have to tell you that she is humble, because naturally, if she told you she was humble, that would defeat the point). She had to step straight into adulthood while the rest of us stepped into our dorms and the next stage of our educational lives. She even did that with excellence- I just think she is really brave, and she very much trusts in her Lord.

Who would play her if my made-up book hit the big screens: this is a total wildcard, but maybe Kiera Knightly or Nicole Kidman (she looks graceful, but who knows?)

I rarely get to see Em anymore, but I get to hear her sweet, encouraging voice fairly often. Emily always remembers to call, and she remembers what’s going on in your life, and she asks. She really knows how to make someone feel cherished and loved. I know that the world she lives in isn’t always the easiest one, there’s just not that many Emily Dixon’s in the dance world. It’s a completely different world in the fine arts- yet she is truly a light in her “office”, her work is her mission field, and her daily practices are a testament to the Lord’s favor on her life. She’s so sugary sweet, you’d think she was the next Disney princess! Take a look at her pictures and tell me she isn’t the most captivatingly beautiful dancer you’ve ever seen! I’m a proud friend :)

Pictures of Emily











Love you, Em!

RB