Hi, How Are Ya?

It’s been a decent amount of time since I’ve updated on my life and what all I’ve been doing lately. You’ve gotten the bits and pieces, but I guess not the whole shebang. So, want it or not, I feel like writing, so here goes…

It’s been a good April. It’s been a fast April, faster even than March, which was absolutely mind-blowingly fast. I don’t know exactly what contributed to it; maybe it was getting to relax and enjoy my time with family and friends, so wonderful that when I finally looked up it was already the last week. Maybe it’s the fact that the sun has decided to show up and I can finally wear one layer of clothing without freezing my bunsies off. Either way, I enjoyed April for no other reason than simply because it was sweet.

I got to see two of my absolute besties last weekend- Hope and Caitlin. I wasn’t expecting to get to see them, so it really made my whole weekend on top of the already fantastic weekend that it was going to be with family, Easter, shopping, tanning, and beautifying. Seeing them really was the icing on the cake.

While everyone around me is gearing up for finals and the end of the semester crunch, my life has started to slow down (in a sense). I’m finally in a stable environment again, my feet have stayed on the ground, and while work itself has picked up, my life on the whole has been pretty uneventful-but in a good way.

In the bad news realm- I found out that after 21 and a half years of cavity free teeth, I now have not one, not two, but THREE cavities. Boo to that. Filling them will commence at 8am on Thursday. However, after going through two traumatic appointments in the past where my gums were literally cut in half while I was fully awake after the wisdom teeth surgeon left a few pieces of tooth back there, my mouth can conquer the world.

On the good news front- as mentioned before, we DID sign a lease on a house- praise to Jesus! That was much needed. Stress levels have decreased significantly and the plans that I like to have are slowly but surely coming together. As always, Jesus is good, and He likes burgundy-ish carpet. I’m excited about this next year with Allie, Martha, and Shayla- sweet girls I am so blessed to get to live with.

I’ve been trying all month to block out the fact that Haylee (and the rest of the class of 2011) will be leaving Aggieland after this semester and I will not be. That is proving more difficult than first anticipated. Haylee may not know, but I am praying with all my little heart that God sends her yellow brick road straight to Dallas forever- I need my girlfriend to be my 2-lb weight walking and tanning buddy, my life is counting on it.

Unexpected joy of the working world- it requires clothes! Silly, obvious observation, but when you look at it the right way, it is a very wonderful necessity. I love that my work does not require business professional clothing, mostly because when I go shopping, I get to pick out clothes that not only work for work, but also nights and weekends. Yay for multi-tasking and making my closet a better place! Not only have I loved the shopping, I’ve loved the challenge of remixing outfits and finding my own style by shopping my closet- I’ve never felt more feminine! I look forward to getting dressed in the morning, challenging myself to never wear the same thing the same way twice. So far, successful since November. Hey, whatever it takes to make my morning better, right?

Royal wedding mania has taken over all of my affections, I am unashamed to say. There are approximately 2468432156 different “specials” on this week, and my Tivo is on overload trying to contain them all. So is my brain- I am currently a royal family expert, in case you have any questions. If you make it onto Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, don’t hesitate in making me your British phone-a-friend lifeline- I will not disappoint. I am still debating how insane I would be if I woke up at 4:00am to watch everything go down. I’m just not sure I can wait- I feel that I need to be there in the moment! I may even drink tea, make scones for breakfast, and dress in my royal-wedding- best for the occasion. Please don’t judge- those who understand, you are welcome to join.

Life is good, my friends. Big things are on the horizon. Good things come to those who wait- even those who sometimes aren’t the happiest waiters. Waiting isn’t over by any means- I still have much more of the same old-same old for quite some time, but new things like summer and tan skin, friends having more free time, and the fruits of my labor making their way into my bank account are all good things.

It’s been a good winter in many regards, but May sounds great to me- I have a really good feeling about this May.

Work With What You've Got

So, my roommates and I officially signed a lease on a house...praise the Lord! How we got all four of us to finally agree on one house, I haven't a clue. Only the mercy of the Lord, I suppose. But with compromise comes...well, compromise. One humongo compromise for me was the offensive color of the carpet- it's burgu/cran/roon- that's some vile mixture of burdgundy, cranberry, and maroon if you missed it ;)

I started looking up different ways to style rooms with this "color" of carpet and as I was googling away, I realized that no one since the invention of the internet has chosen this color for their rooms. Period. So instead of using living rooms with this color carpet as inspirtation, I tried looking at color palletes for a little help.

I guess there could be worse things in a house. On the upside, it's in good condition, very spacious, has a good landlord, good location, and it's being rented to us at a great price. And the best thing of all- it's only for a time, right? Good thing I LOVE my roomies :)














Welcome back, 1979. Horrific carpet, at least you don't show stains easily and you are an Aggie at heart. Positive side, right?

Mistakes

Question of the Day:

"If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?"

Here's what I think- because learning from your mistakes isn’t the best way to learn. We weren’t designed to make mistakes, we were designed in the image of a perfect God. Learning from mistakes is grace that God gives us, wisdom He imparts if we allow Him to and ask for it. Just because you make a mistake doesn’t mean you’re going to learn from it. Learning from truth and a perfect example is a better way to learn, especially since some mistakes can hurt you for life.

What do you think?

15 Years From Now

So, all this looking for a new place to rent next year has me thinking about houses in general- and what my dream one will consist of. Considering that next years' place looks to involve some raspberry/maroonish-hued carpet, a 60's style kitchen, and remnants of wood paneling, it's hard NOT to think about what I want one day. With how lovely the weather has been lately, my thoughts have been on the exterior more than the interior. Can this please be my backyard one day? I promise I would use it to entertain. If you would like to donate to the cause, I can absolutely guarantee bi-weekly barbeques, weekly tanning dates, and as much summer night chatting as you could possibly want.

The One Where Caitlin is a Midwife

I’ve been thinking about those stinkin’ gorgeous friends of mine that live across the nation lately, thinking about that book that hasn’t written itself, and so I thought, why not throw together some “content” for that book? Why not share a story?

When December finally rolls around to close out yet another year, magic starts to happen in stores across America. The malls start getting a little redder and greener, a rather jolly and rotund grandpa in a fuzzy red coat becomes the face of every known company, and every rendition of “Ho Ho Ho” and “Naughty or Nice” marketing slogans make their way into our holiday ads. It’s a special time of year for everyone, a time to spend with family, a time to eat a few more candied treats than you should. However, the wonder of Christmas is no more magnificent to anyone than school-aged children, whose whimsical holiday extravaganzas are highlighted by those coveted two weeks off from school. For young junior high girls who are just becoming obsessed with spending every spare moment together, Christmas break is that outlet that provides endless nights of slumber parties, girly gossip, and movie marathons.

At least, those are my charmed memories of junior high Christmas break. On one such night that fits the bill described above, a Christmas slumber party of sorts was going down at the Holland household, the fondly remembered Wellwyn Way house that sat atop a large hill in the middle of suburban Texas, surrounded by what can only be described as a replica Great Wall of China. The Holland household was always so enchanting at Christmas-time, a Martha Stewart-esque masterpiece that boasted 7 fully decorated Christmas trees and featured all the homemade goodies that growing tween-age girls could ask for.

On this particular Christmas break memory (I believe it must have been either the 7^th or 8^th grade Christmas), there was quite a conundrum that had to be dealt with- half of the girls, still struggling out of their tomboy roots, favored the Mavericks game, while the other half, born 100% female, preferred an evening of Bing Crosby’s White Christmas. I must say, I don’t rightly remember who won out- I think there was some kind of compromise. By night’s end, less than half of the original party remained for the slumbering. Caitlin’s parents were out of town on an anniversary escapade, and we were left upstairs in the loft area to slumber away under the watchful eye of Caitlin’s grandmother. I have some hazy memory of a prank phone call that had us all up in knots, as I’m sure we enjoyed scaring the bejeebers out of each other. I guess one of them will have to clarify.

Also, Caitlin’s sweet puppy dog Chloe (may she rest in peace) was very,very pregnant. Thinking that Chloe was not quite due for several more days or weeks, the Hollands had left the house with easy minds. However, in the middle of the night, Chloe went into labor, and somehow Hope, the aspiring veterinarian and all-around animal lover of the group, must have had a supernatural understanding that something magical was about to happen. Caitlin had already been summoned to her grandmother’s room, and Hope followed quickly behind . I, being the light sleeper that I am, was awakened by the commotion, and rushed downstairs to hear what all the fuss was about. Chloe had given birth to her litter of puppies, and there was joy in the air!

I vaguely remember almost losing one of the baby pups outside- they were such tiny little things, they barely looked like puppies! Chloe was such a good mama- she took such good care of her little babies, even though she lost a few. We held the newborn puppies as long as we could keep our eyes open, and then Caitlin’s grandmother told us it was time to go back to sleep.

We were so excited that next morning, we couldn’t wait to share our joy and happiness with our friends and family! We had gotten to be witnesses to the miracle of birth and life. Such a simple, delightful moment to remember from those awkward junior high years, but it was a night that none of us will forget nonetheless. It’s snapshots like these- three pre-teen girls in Old Navy Christmas pajamas sitting on the floor of the Holland’s bedroom holding newborn baby puppies, eating popcorn and watching Christmas movies, tickle-fighting, throwin popcorn, making gingerbread men, indulging in innocent laughter, all in a world less complicated by technology and cell phones- that remind me of what a blessed childhood I had.

It’s sweet memories like these that will forever be engrained in my mind when I watch these now precious young women take their next step in life as they graduate college that will unite us in a bond that we cannot share with anyone else- ever.

Perfect Weekend

If this doesn't scream perfect weekend to you, I don't know what will. This is the most blissful thing I can think of right now! Why can't I go to the beach?

 

Perfect Weekend by Raegan1989 featuring a yellow tote bag

American Apparel denim top
$64 - americanapparel.com

Calypso short
$135 - calypsostbarth.com

Swimwear
$105 - revolveclothing.com

Sigerson Morrison leather shoes
175 GBP - theoutnet.com

Juicy Couture yellow tote bag
$248 - zappos.com

Oversized scarve
$175 - calypsostbarth.com

Wet Seal floppy hat
$11 - wetseal.com

Sunglasses glass shade
ocshades.com

You Are Here

Whenever I go to new malls, amusement parks, or other such large, public arenas, one of the first places I stop is the map. I like to know where I am and where I’m going, maybe more so than anyone else in the group I am with. I am a planner through and through, to my core, born and raised. I think I’ve mentioned this a time or two. As a child, my play usually involved playing secretary, meeting planner, or home- arranging for my Barbie dolls. Organization for me was more fun than the actual play itself. Setting up the game plan has always been a top priority for me- we need to know what we want to do, where we want to go, how much time we have, what takes precedence over another, what our route will look like, and what stops we have time for along the way. So to know all of that, naturally, I must know where we are when we begin. Am I starting to sound like an OCD crazy person? A little? Well, it’s probably true.

I can’t help it, it’s part of who I am. And most of the time, my having a game plan is of great benefit, especially to my not-so-organized counterparts, like my sweet boyfriend and sister, who don’t know up from down some days. When it comes to life in general, however, plans are a dime a dozen and usually barely worth their weight in salt. For those who don’t have a planner’s brain like me, this bodes well for them, as life seems to support their carefree lifestyle most of the time. For me, I sometimes give myself ulcers waiting for something to happen, wondering how my plan is going to pan out. I’m not foolish enough to believe that life follows any sort of roadmap we have set out for it, but sometimes I wish it did. Sometimes I wish my life looked more like the mall map, with its constructs and context, obvious paths and stopping points, its beginning and end. But in general, life looks more like this:

Plain and simple, here you are. And that’s all you should be thinking about. This is where you are placed in time. This is today. That is so hard for me sometimes- who am I kidding- almost always. I at least would like to know the next step. I’d like a heads up on my next big move, my next goal, what’s shortly up the road. Has society done this to us? Are we wishing away our lives because we so cater our lives to our plans? Is this just a problem I have, the resistance to living in the now?

It’s truthfully not that I don’t want to, and not even that I’m dissatisfied with where I am. It’s almost like an addiction to a roadmap- my life has always followed a pretty straight and narrow pathway, one that is designed by society, set up for our own success and happiness. Grade school, high school, college- and then the world is your oyster, which is so exciting, but filled with so many moral and personal dilemmas, so many possibilities, but so many traps. It’s an exciting time in life, but does anyone else ever feel like they’re suddenly off the radar? I may have been watching too much Criminal Minds recently due to this reference, but do you ever feel off the grid, unsearchable?

It’s not so much that I feel lost as must as I feel in limbo, in transition. Kind of like that feeling when you come back from the bathroom in the middle of the night and stumble around in your bedroom, feeling your way to your bed, a path you think you know but that can sometimes catch your shin by surprise. A little clumsy, a little out of control, but mostly just trying to stick to the path without encountering any pain.

There’s a lot of metaphors I could use, but in the most simple of terms, I have to remind myself of truth sometimes- that I have a path that my Father knows, He is for me, and so I can trust that it is a good path. It’s not an easy one, but I can trust that He has walked it before me flawlessly. Which isn’t intimidating- it’s the most encouraging thing I know! That a gracious Father has paved the way for me, that He knows my every want, every need, every desire and passion and vulnerability. He didn’t hand me a roadmap for my life because I’d probably be scared of it. There are probably many times that the path He has for me runs close to the edge of a cliff, or that ventures deep into valleys, or that wades through high waters. And there are probably times that take me to the top of the mountain, times in the sun, moments that take the scenic route for my enjoyment. God’s a good God, so He holds on to that map for me and holds my hand as I walk.

I’m not usually a good follower- I’m generally a trail blazer. I like to cut paths for myself. As I’ve said so many times before, God’s been teaching me patience, trust, faith, and good humor. And He continues to teach me through the mundane, through the nights where my only plans are to balance my check book and clean my toilet, through looking for a new house to rent, in a job that can sometimes test your fortitude. I continue singing this same old refrain because I think this is a lifelong lesson for me. Patience isn’t a fruit of the Spirit that I let flow freely from me, I resist it with all my hard-headed might. But it isn’t an option to learn patience- as I grow in the Spirit, it becomes my command, an attribute of His personhood that He WILL put me through the flames for to make me more like Him. I HATE to admit it, but patience brings us to holiness, which is the goal. I don’t like to include parts of holiness that I’m not good at, but there’s a reason He keeps bringing me around to this lesson- I don’t have a choice to learn it, and as long as I want to remain in Him and He in me, there’s some concessions I’m going to have to make.

I am so thankful He loves me so much to keep reminding me- have joy while you wait, serve me while you wait, have patience while you wait. Because our whole life is a waiting game for heaven, but there is SO much to be done in this time. I can’t waste that. I’m just thankful He teaches me lessons in my own habitat- the mall. Thank you, Lord; I am here- period.