Southern by the Grace of God

So, there’s been plenty of serious talks around these parts about a fancy little move East. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check this. It seems to be a fairly believable rumor, and while there are plenty of opinions circulating around Aggieland and the Big Twelve, I’m here to address the fairly obvious positive: how great would the SEC and all their fabulous traditions be for a sweet southern school like A&M? A few things I’ll be anticipating come 2013 if this whole deal does go through:

The men in fancy ties

Hmm, and what will this look like come 2013?

Much prettier drive to away games than say, Waco, Lubbock, or oh, any school in the Big 12 period.

Can someone say excuse to buy a Lilly Pullitzer?

Mmm, I could go for this southern soul food on a morning tailgate.

Or some goo'ole, southern-style sweet tea! Straight out of the mason jar, of course.

Pull out the curling iron, hairspray, and a teasing comb, ladies! (oh wait, I already do that...time to go bigger!)

Gentlemen, time to get frat-tastic! Don't know how you'll stand the heat in these, but you gotta if we're ever gonna fit in with the SEC crowd.

Now, I already think our tailgating is top notch, but we're going to have to step it up with these southern folk!

The Southern menu.

And now for some secrets to being the southern belles we were always meant to be

 New standard for Aggie games

Some things will never change

Always :)

Ain't this the truth!

Sneaky little southern girls!

Such a helpful phrase that the north truly misses out on

Naturally

Not a problem for me!

Time to freshen up on my southern accent and "charm" :)

Stay classy, southern ladies

Goes with everything.

Ah, it's good to be southern :)

Mind Shopping

Since I don't have an endless bank account, nor should I blow it all on clothing if I did, I'd like to introduce you to the shopping bag in my mind. I do consider all of these needs- I'll just slowly but surely justify them instead of raking them all in in one fatal swoop. What do you think?

J Crew Silk Blythe Blouse

 

New Directions Solid Long Skirt

 

Old Navy Women's Canvas Surplus Vest

 

Anthropologie Printed Boy Tee, Stripes

 

Old Navy Women's Printed Roll-Up Camp Shirt

 

Le Mode Accessories One With Nature Belt

 

Francesca's Heaven on Earth Belt

 

Urban Outfitters UO Suede Pump

 

Shop Ruche Midday Dreaming Crochet Dress

 

Shop Ruche Pink Lemonade Belted Dress

 

Shop Ruche Lookbook

 

Modcloth Craving Curry Skirt

 

Steve Madden Intyce Boots

 

J Crew Selvedge Chambray Popover

 

J Crew Schoolboy Blazer in Houndstooth

 

20-Somethings

So, I turned 22 yesterday. I call 22 The Official 21. There is nothing “old” sounding about 22, but it does sound older than 21. For the past year, whenever I have told people that I am 21, most make some kind of snarky remark about when they were 21 and all the mischief they got into, how incredibly young I am, on and on and on. Here’s what I have to say to that- yes, I am young, and I could not be happier that I am still in my early twenties. I love being young, I don’t particularly want to be any older than I am today. But at age 22, I have already been working full time for over a year, so please, feel free to joke around about how young I am, but also remember that I’m not just any 22-year-old. I don’t mean to be a braggart in the least bit- I’m a very young member of the class of 2010, that’s just been my lot, but in many ways I feel that I act perfectly my age. I believe that most 22-year-olds, whether they have full time jobs or not, should have a certain level of maturity, a level that we do not hold our young-20’s responsible to anymore.

So, here’s my rant lesson today- why is our generation responsible for so much less than the generations before us, and who is to blame for this?

I was thinking today about what the age 22 implies- long gone are the monumental birthdays; we’re just counting by 5’s and 10’s now to count the years of our lives down (depressing thought). Twenty-two in this day and age denotes a recent or soon-to-be college grad. Typically, 22’s are on the job hunt, looking for some way to put money in the bank, trying to retroactively fix their credit nightmare they created in college, living at home, avoiding the real world, trying to NOT settle down, living incredibly selfishly, and desiring to live at the level of their parents without the income of their parents, thus pushing them further into debt. This by no means defines the entirety of the 22’s, but it is more the rule than the exception.

When I think about what 22 implied in the bygone eras of our parents, our grandparents, and even our great grandparents, I think 22 looked a lot different. Admittedly, our parents may not have been quite as responsible at 22 as our grandparents were, but I feel as if they might have had a bit more focus, if for nothing else than they didn’t live in a world that bailed them out of every mistake they made. I feel that college had a bit more focus for them, because college was more of a privilege for them than it is for us- for us, it was a right of passage, a 4-year blip of life that was yours to be as immature and self-indulgent as possible. Not everyone had college degrees back then, so it was truly a choice to advance your career by completing higher education.

It’s really our grandparents’ era that makes me look and think, “What are we doing with our 20’s?” “The Greatest Generation” earned their title through unyielding loyalty to country and family, through conviction, through self-sacrifice, and through an understanding that their family’s and their country’s success was their responsibility, that the burden of securing freedom lay directly on their shoulders. And they did not hesitate. They defined for us hard work, perseverance, strength, faith, and courage. I so admire that generation. We are so lacking those traits that made our country what it was, and I fear that we are on the brink of losing what we have in America. That is not fair to their legacy.

Sure, we’ve done so much to advance our nation in many ways since the 40’s-60’s. We’ve become a more equal nation and we’ve advanced technology to a point where life spans are longer than ever before. But we’ve also made ourselves an incredibly lazy nation, one that relies on technology and convenience. We are an instant gratification nation, wanting what we want when we want it, and claiming all sorts of injustices when it doesn’t go our way. This whole idea of who we are today is nothing new at all- you’ve probably heard it a million times over. I, however, want to camp out on the aforementioned topic of what is going on with our 20-somethings, and how we can make them better.

I’ve heard every excuse in the book for my generation- we grew up only knowing technology, we are children of the Baby Boomer generation that got us to this point, we were taught from an early age how to get what we want out of life. Yes, in so many ways, our childhood was marred by the sins of our parents. We’re children of rampant divorce rates, growing up in daycare centers year-round, the “everyone’s a winner” mentality that cheapened hard work. There are certainly flaws in the ways that our parents reared us, but we are not victims.

WE ARE NOT VICTIMS. Yes, we CAN help the way we are, we aren’t condemned to being spoiled little brats that complain about every injustice to ourselves. We don’t have to be ignorant of the world around us, we CAN think for ourselves. We have the ability to take part in our government, to not be so easily swayed by the media. Just because we SEE 20-something’s depicted as “children” on television, doing everything they can to not accept the responsibilities of life, telling themselves that family and career can wait until they’re done with “living for themselves,” doesn’t mean that’s who we are or who we have to be.

I’m tired of it, really. 22 does not mean today what it meant 50 years ago. Why can’t 22’s today be responsible spenders, take responsibility for their actions, invest towards their future, not be fearful of getting married and starting a family. Why are we putting off our lives? I’m not saying I’m completely going against the grain and carrying the torch to “save our generation,” but I would like to stand up for us and say that we can be self-sufficient, hard-working, mature adults and not entitled little brats. I’d like to say that having a steady career that pays the bills is not boring, it’s responsible. Getting married is not the end of my life, it’s the beginning of a new chapter of following the Lord in His plan for my life. I didn’t graduate early because I’m a killjoy, I did it to help my parents and myself as we face the reality of college loan debt.

I’m not a victim of this culture; it may have influenced me, but I take responsibility where I have failed. I didn’t sin blindly, there are no excuses; where I have been selfish, there was a conscious sin nature that led me to disobedience. We are 20-somethings, we’re not children. Stop letting the world tell you that you are. You’re more than a quarter of the way through your life, for goodness sakes. Put your big kid panties on, (wo)man up, and take responsibility for your successes and your failures. Stop letting culture take credit for both. What I’m not saying is don’t have any fun; what I am saying is, have the most fun you can possibly dream up, but work before you play and your play won’t come back to bite you years down the road, and your fun will be a LOT more fun.

You’re not a victim, so stop acting like one.

A Bittersweet Farewell

Forgive me if I’m a little extra emotional today. I’ve been fighting back tears on and off since I woke up this morning to a bare room, all of my belongings in boxes in the living room. I knew this day was inevitable, that at some point, I was going to have to walk out of the Dexter house and start the next chapter of my life. The funniest thing is, I’ve been just chomping at the bit to get going to that next phase, counting down the days and weeks and months until I get to be Mrs. Clayton Messinger (And don’t get me wrong, I still cannot wait for that day!). But today, I just want to put the breaks on life, I just want to stop and bask in my youth, in this time of life. Allow me to be sappy and nostalgic for just a moment while I say my goodbyes to the house that built me in so many ways.

I remember walking in the doors of 1009 Dexter for the first time. I was going to my small group leader’s house as a little baby freshman, wide-eyed and wondrous at the thought of getting to live in a real house with your best friends, silently dreaming of how I might get to this point in just a year. It seemed unreal to me at that moment, the thought that I could ever find friends with the kind of bond my small group leader had with her roommates. I had the best friends a girl could ask for back home- dare I believe that I could be so fortunate again, here, in a city that I moved to all alone?

At that tender point in life, I was desperate for closeness, and I clung to those around me. Erin Burns (now FINCH!) was a safety net for me in those days, her presence above me in Aston Hall and constant relief from the worries and stresses of my new life. Visiting the Dexter house with her in my small group, we knew this was where we were supposed to be, even if we didn’t know who else was supposed to join us yet. It felt like home before we actually got to call it our own.

Beth Owens and Alexandria Boyce had joined our little home soon enough, and plans for the fall were falling into place. I barely knew these girls at the time (at least it felt that way) and I was anxious all over again when we moved in. That year was such a growing year- I learned how to make friends (a skill I must admit did not come as easily to me as I had given myself credit for), I learned how to trust God’s provision, and I began to see glimpses of the community that God wanted me to build in this house. When these precious ladies asked me to move with them to a new place, I made the tough decision to stay at Dexter; while I didn’t know all the reasons why, much less who I would even live with, I felt a tugging on my heart to stay, and that there was purpose in this. It seemed so silly at the time, looking for roommates when these girls were my rock, but beyond the practical reasons there were to stay, I knew there were heavenly reasons as well, and I wouldn’t have missed that for the world.

That’s right about the time I found Allison. We were in Covenant Group together. My prayer request was that God would direct the three young ladies He had for the Dexter house to me, and sooner rather than later please. Moments later, Allison lifted up her request that the Lord would show her and her two friends where they were supposed to live. It didn’t take but a few moments to realize what the Lord was doing in that covenant group time. He was doing something far greater than we knew. He was bringing together a college family, four girls who would love on each other, sharpen one another, and build a haven for the remainder of these short college years.

Once again, I found myself nervous at the prospect, but it only made sense, really. I didn’t know the other two girls from Adam, and Allison and I had only briefly gotten to know each other. They came over one night to take a look at the house, and my heart was so full when they left. I saw in those girls in that night a tiny glimpse of the incredible adventure the Lord still had in store for me.

I’d be lying if I said that to this point, at 2 years into my brief 3 year college stint, I was happy with what college had to offer. People made college sound like the time of your life, and I’ll be real with you, it was hard. I had a few close friends, but there was still this part of me that wondered if I’d ever find friends like I had in high school, and I began to grow increasingly aware of my average college experience as over the years my high school friends reported the incredible times they were having in their respective cities.

I’d also be lying if I said that my last year in college wasn’t worth the first two average ones. The last one absolutely blew my mind. Here’s what I didn’t know- I didn’t know that God had picked out sisters for me to live with, I didn’t know that God had an entire family he wanted me to join in Impact, I didn’t know He wanted to show me a glimpse of what He created me for in allowing me to lead in Phi Lamb, I didn’t know He was going to break my heart for His daughters, I didn’t know He was going to let my heart break so that He could heal it, I didn’t know that those sisters He gave me were really angels in disguise, I didn’t know that He would use my house as a ministry tool, I didn’t know I could find other girls whose heart beat was to serve Him, girls who would get on their knees with me, cry out to God with me, rejoice and laugh and love with me. I didn’t know just how much GOODNESS He had in store for me, and how I wouldn’t have recognized how absolutely mind-blowing that one year was had I not been through a drought in which I had to ask God for it.

Even over this last year, while I wasn’t still in college, He gave me another year with these sisters and brought in some more- including my own blood sister. I could not have imagined a sweeter blessing than the opportunity to share pillow talk each night with my baby sister, to gently help her in to college, to watch her grow and blossom and have so much freedom and enjoyment in her first year. It made those years I didn’t get that feel redeemed because I was able to see my sister get her feet firmly planted. I saw God bring together a house of girls as different as night and day, in totally different seasons of life, love on each other unconditionally, rely on and trust each other with everything, and truly crave life together. The snapshots in my mind of those sweet years will forever be locked in my memory.

I walked through my house just last night as I was packing up boxes and putting them all in the living room.

 That brick-walled living room has seen so much. I was flooded with so many different images. Too many movie nights to count accompanied by Dairy Queen and Twizzlers. Nights in the dead of winter when the heater was out and we bundled up in every garment we owned and clung to each other on the couch for warmth. 2AM during finals week, the ground littered with books, Starbucks, and a house full of friends from all over who were drawn to this little house of joy. Countless prayers lifted up, encouragement, discernment, challenging each other, going through the growing pains together, and bringing in an entire community to do that with. That living room has seen so much LIFE in such a short period of time.

We sat in the kitchen last night, talking over what Texas A&M has meant to us. Even a year removed from school itself, I get emotional thinking of how truly blessed I was to get to experience community like I did. That kitchen, where so many cookies were made. So many girls came in and out of that little space to eat chocolate and girl talk while the hours slipped away. How many nights did we pull all-nighters at the table, laptops aglow, breaking every 10 minutes to laugh together, to keep each other sane? How many times did we look across the table and know that those precious moments that you get to live in the same house as your best friends are truly treasures, and how often did we do everything we could to burn those images in our minds? The spring-time, when that space was covered in bright colors from all the Impact festivities, boxes of t-shirts for Phi Lamb, and constant reminders that we would GLADLY endure the clutter for the opportunity to live this life, to do ministry, to lead out in ways that God designed us to. I will never forget the joy in that kitchen.

I walked into Haylee’s mostly empty room and sat on her bed Indian style, the way I’d done so many countless times while she got dressed or painted her nails or half-heartedly did homework while we chatted. About anything and everything really, the same conversations, updated only slightly, adding in witty comments where we found them appropriate just to keep each other laughing. My potluck roommate turned best friend. She loved on me more powerfully than I could have ever guessed in my biggest moments of need, and from that point forward, I knew she was the forever friend type. I’ve seen this beautiful girl lead out so fearlessly, follow her Lord with such reckless abandon and steady, determined faith, and now take the next step in Houston with such bravery. I can’t even get over what this girl means to me, what her honest, beautiful, life-breathing friendship means to me. She’s my walking buddy, my soul sister, my 5 foot hero.

I sat in that all too familiar empty space on Allison’s floor that has, for whatever reason, been such an inviting patch of carpet over the years to everyone in the house. Her room was always such a gathering place in the back end of the house, and we would always all end up there somehow and wonder how we all ended up on her floor while she was trying to do homework. That black chair in Allison’s room always served as my counseling session couch; something about that chair brought out my every thought and emotion, and Allison always listened so eagerly and willingly. I always appreciate that about her. We would share hopes and dreams together, talk out how to walk according to God’s will and how to handle everyday with grace, and then spend the rest of the chat talking about fashion tips, Aggie football, and anything else that would make Allison blush. And now, she’ll finish out her time at A&M in a new house where the Lord has told her to go, and she’s going to be the blown away by what God has for her future.

Before I started packing, I sat on the only visible free space in Shayla’s room, and that just seemed appropriate. We talked about plans for our futures and the futures of the men we love the most. And while I sat there, I thanked God that He brought this young woman into this house, even if only for a year, because she fit this house perfectly and completed it. I thought about how that room has seen so many different personalities over the last three years, and how each one has grown me and challenged me in different ways. Shayla, always the even-tempered subject of so much teasing, but she handles it so well and brings us so much laughter with her dry wit. Shayla, with so much devotion and heart, compassion and discernment. Her last year is going to be her best whether she knows it or not.

I think I sat looking at the bare walls in my white washed room for too long, because the tears almost started flowing freely. To recount all that the Lord has taught me, how far He’s brought me in just 4 years, would take more than a blog post. That room has seen so much laughter, so many tears, so much homework and wardrobe changes, and Friends, and slumber parties, and obsessive-compulsive organizing. Defining moments of my life in that room, moments that I can put a finger on and pinpoint when those friends became sisters, when I had to put my big girl panties on and grow up, when I had to make big decisions, when I knew I couldn’t possibly be more blessed. While it may not be for everybody, I can’t imagine a better way to spend my last year in that house than sleeping next to my sister every night. I loved every second of it, even if she didn’t always understand my organizational system.

This isn’t the end of my college journey, but in so many ways, it’s a bigger deal to me than even graduating was. To me, this is the true ending of an era in my life, and walking out of those doors for the last time this weekend will signal the next chapter. There will undoubtedly be a plethora of emotions- excitement at what’s to come, thankfulness for what it was, and tears with many meanings behind them. This was a special time of life for me. It was a time that I never could have dreamed up. When I was in high school visiting the campus for the first time, I thought, “I’ll never find friends like I had in high school, and this will be more about just getting through than anything else.” I was right, I haven’t found friends JUST like my high school friends; those friendships are special and priceless and in a league all their own, never to be compared to anything else I have because they can never be replaced. But I DID find another whole set of forever friends, a completely different kind, the only women I will ever live with that are not blood related. They know me in ways that no other girlfriends ever will, and because of that, I know that we are in this life together thing for the long haul, no matter how many miles separate us.

We’ll miss you, 1009 Dexter. May the Lord continue to throw His blessings all over you, and may you continue to be a light on a hill in College Station. Thanks for the memories.

“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”- Winnie the Pooh

50 Random Thoughts and Lessons

We are past the halfway point in July, my friends. The summer is finally moving its rear end along, and I’m quite pleased with its decision. Not that I don’t love all that summer brings- long days, tanned skin, yummy treats and fun dresses- but I’m kind of really excited about January for some reason this year. J

The countdown to wedded bliss finally has some momentum behind it, and the numbers are starting to get closer in the mirror than they appear. We’re about 5 and a half months out now, and things are really starting to take off. The fun of wedding planning has begun- flowers, decorations, personal details, cake design. Which means the really fun part is only just around the corner- registering, wedding showers, honeymoon reservations. I can’t wait!

I’m on a wedding high to say the least. I just got back in this weekend from Mr. and Mrs. Luke Finch’s wedding, and it’s got my mind all wrapped up in wedding thoughts once more. They hadn’t ever gone away, but the mode has shifted back to consumed, like it did right after the proposal. I’m just so excited, I think I might burst right out of my skin!

All of that being said, it’s fair to assume that there are very few updates in my life right now, which is why I would just like to share a bit of what I’ve been learning lately. Please enjoy this fun/serious list of thoughts floating through my head.

1.       Life is not a sprint; life is short, but it is meant to be savored, lived to the fullest, and ran with excellence.

2.       Few things matter this side of eternity other than souls.

3.       Money will continue to be worth less and less, so it’s not very dependable.

4.       I am well past the point where donuts and chocolate milk are acceptable breakfast options- they will go straight to my hips.

5.       Few things in life are permanent- some things feel like they are permanent fixtures that will never leave, but most are just transient guests and will be gone before I know it.

6.       There is nothing- absolutely nothing- to watch on Sports Center between the months of June and August.

7.       Having a handful of faithful friends is worth so much more than hundreds of acquaintances.

8.       There is absolutely no reason to spend a dime on clothing in College Station when you can save it for a trip to DFW malls.

9.       I am beyond blessed to have the family I have and cannot imagine how my life would be different without them in it.

10.   Party politics has gotten us nowhere for a very long time and it’s simply unfruitful to listen to arrogant, self-centered people argue over decisions on which a compromise will never be reached.

11.   Taiwan, Hong Kong, Chaing Mai, Phuket, and Figi are apparently all “the perfect place to fall in love.”

12.   Reading is so much better for the mind than watching television- it stretches the imaginative areas of your mind and challenges them in ways that we don’t get in this culture anymore.

13.   Style > Fashion.

14.   God cares so much more about my holiness than he does about my happiness.

15.   People are always looking for “what’s next”- you get engaged, and their next question is when you expect to have children.

16.   Children can wait for as long as humanly and physically possible.

17.   There are probably several things the Lord will change my mind about as I grow and mature…children being one of them.

18.   Will-power is something I can never have enough of; discipline is something I should constantly covet in all areas of my life.

19.   Just being with Clayton is one of the most content places I’ve ever found myself, which is a good indicator that marriage is a good decision.

20.   There is no reason to count on my plans for the future when it is way more likely that God has something a lot cooler planned if I’ll allow Him to lead and guide.

21.   The goodies in the break room are never worth it in retrospect; do your best to ignore them and convince yourself that you do not want them.

22.   It’s incredibly hard to compensate for sitting on your bum for 8 hours a day- working out, eating less, and drinking more water have never been more vital.

23.   God loves His children, and He is more real than anything we can physically see; trusting Him is essential.

24.   There are a lot of rude people in the world; I was born just as depraved, but was saved only by grace.

25.   I cry at just about everything these days, which is a sign of strength; my heart is becoming more attune to the things in life that matter most- people, people’s hurts and needs, people’s joys and triumphs, and the movement of the Holy Spirit allowing me to grieve and rejoice with people.

26.   Don’t let people convince you that having “good taste in music” is a superior pinnacle that is actually attainable; they simply have an opinion and preference, just like you do.

27.   There is nothing right or wrong about marrying young or old; there is obedience, and there is disobedience.

28.   There is no shame in wanting to see Winnie the Pooh or reading “teen literature” like “The Hunger Games” at age almost 22.

29.   There is nothing exciting about age 22.

30.   Year 22 for me will forever be my favorite, however, because I get to marry the love of my life.

31.   Heaven is going to be spectacular one day, amen?

32.   Change is the only constant in this life- sometimes it’s scary, sometimes it’s exciting, but you will experience it until the day you die, so embrace it.

33.   I was recently told that I have “God-given artist hands” and that I am “missing my calling by sitting at a computer desk all day.” Is that what someone told this artist?

 

34.   Sometimes there is nothing more satisfying in the world than to sleep in until 11, watch Teen Mom in bed til 2, and then lounge around with your fiancé until it’s almost time for bed again. Oh, and break up the day with a no-holds-barred search for the perfect snow-cone.

35.   It is true that you drink more water if you drink out of a straw.

36.   Counting calories can actually be turned into a game because…there’s an app for that.

37.   Sometimes you think that graduating college was the worst decision you’ve ever made, but then you remember that having money brings with it nice things like pretty clothes, food in your belly, and oh yeah, the opportunity to get married soon.

38.   There is always someone out there who is better at something than you are. The secret to beating them is realizing this isn’t a competition.

39.   People will always hurt you, disappoint you, let you down, deceive you, and ultimately fail you; the comfort in all of that is knowing that God is actually incapable of any of those.

40.   Learning from others’ mistakes is actually better than learning by making your own- it’s called wisdom.

41.   Resourcefulness is a very worthwhile practice, one that I would like to better myself in.

42.   I have always had an inexplicable expensive taste bud; line up 10 similar items, ask me which one I like the best, and I am nearly perfect at “preferring” the most expensive one. Clayton be warned- I’ve got Tiffany’s taste on a Target budget.

43.   A consistently manicured hand is one of the easiest ways to always feel like a lady, and of course, a very costly way.

44.   I hate it when I find myself looking through a jaded lens because I can usually dig just under the surface of my memory and find areas of un-forgiveness.

45.   Do your best to not burn bridges; you have no idea how or when someone will reappear and change your life forever.

46.   I’ve heard it said that there are two things in life you can’t avoid- death and taxes. My question is, how many do we have on record as death BY taxes?

47.   God says He wants your best from you. He also says He wants you to be perfect. Your best is only perfect through the power of the Holy Spirit and the death of you to yourself.

48.   God is a giver of good gifts, so it only makes sense that Satan, the prince of lies, would try to convince the world to blame God when disaster strikes.

49.   There is no need to ever call the search for the perfect little black dress complete.

50.   I am blessed beyond reason, and there is no need to ever question God’s timing or His goodness.

My Weekend in Pictures

Patio-sitting with friends


Florist shop-visiting with Mom



Shoe shopping



Inspiration-seeking in Dallas



Olive Garden-ing with family



Evening strolling



Sun tanning



Snow cone eating



Country road driving and country music listening

Until next weekend, just another 5 days of hoping and dreaming of more summer bliss!

Back to the Blog

I have absolutely LOVED this 4-day work week, I could definitely go for that all year! Friday rolled around this morning and I almost couldn’t believe it was already here again. That just might be a first. Another weekend on the road, which makes 9 out of the last 10. I love it, but it is incredibly tiring.

Wedding planning is moving along at an incredible rate. I keep thinking that we’re going to have this whole thing planned with months to spare at the rate we are going, and then I take a look at my calendar and have panic moments where I think we’ll barely make it! How do people do this thing on shorter engagements? Mine will end up being right under 8 months, and while it feels infinitely far away in the day to day, I can’t imagine a shorter engagement on the whole. It’s the strangest feeling, living out the 8 months of my life that I have been dreaming about since I was a little girl. It’s a totally surreal feeling, one that I’m trying to soak up, but it is all so overwhelming at times.

This weekend brings with it a Saturday full of mother-daughter wedding planning time. On the agenda- visiting a florist, yet another cake tasting, visiting our reception venue to see how another couple styled the space for inspiration, and more than likely picking out save the dates and getting a move on getting those out! A very exciting weekend, for sure. Thankfully, I’ll get some relaxation time tonight in the form of a double date with Caitlin and Cole. We treasure these moments with them as they only come around every so often.

What else is on my mind besides wedding planning? The truth is, very little, which is why my blogging has come to an almost stand-still. I spend most of my free moments thinking about it, trying to make it all come together in my head. However, it is somehow JULY, and things are about to be abuzz in College Station once again. We’re moving in 3 weeks, and I’ve got lots of packing and prepping to do. I’m hoping to spend most of the time I would have been spending with Clayton painting the new place and organizing the junk I’ve collected over the last 3 years at the Dexter house. Clayton will be finishing out the summer in DFW working full time as an intern at Vought Engineering, and while I’ll miss him and his company dearly, I’m very proud of him and happy he has finally found work, even if it is only for half of the summer. College Station is an exceedingly boring place in the summer, and much more so once you’ve already graduated and so have all of your friends. But, it’s 5 weeks, and I believe in myself J

I’ve found myself both dreading and anticipating August this year. August is usually one of my most favorite months for several reasons: summer jobs/school are winding down and opening up a brief window of time in which no responsibilities exist except to enjoy the friends around you before school starts, the interminably long football hiatus we are forced to endure between February and August is almost come to an end, and of course, it’s my birthday month. This years’ August carries with it more than usual- there is no “time of no responsibility” for me, I’ll be very busy organizing the house and planning the wedding, the calm quiet that has settled over this town for the past few months will come to an abrupt end and swarms of students will make their pilgrimage back, and life as I know it will pick up where it left off in May. While this summer has brought with it more frustration than usual, it has also given me some quiet moments, some time to myself and time with my man, and some literal moments in the sun. I’ll miss that, but I think I’m mostly anticipating August.

Other than that, nothing is new. I’m enjoying the last bit of busyness I’m having at work before the camp season comes to a close and business comes to a halt for me. My dear friend Erin is getting married in one week and I can’t wait to be a part of her magical weekend. I’m hoping to find a rhythm and balance to my life in the remainder of this summer before “life commences” once again. I am BEYOND ready to live the normal life of an 8-5’er. While I love these girls I’ll be living with dearly, after a year in the real world and a ring on my finger, I can’t even express to you the longing I have to settle down with my future husband and start life together. It’ll finally be the end of a long wait we’ve shared for each other, and while I am not fooled into believing that marriage is by any means the end of all problems, I am still so ecstatic to be able to truly build a life together. He’s my best friend, and that’s what will make these next several weeks of separation from him so hard, compounded with the lack of real community here.

Well, that’s the update. I sincerely hope to blog something more interesting soon. My mind just feels like mush, consumed with one prevailing thought. An exciting thought, for sure- but maybe not so much for you!